Sometimes my journey is a little frustrating. I'd equate it to that kids game where you search for something while your friends call warmer, colder, etc. until you find the object that you are looking for. Sort of. in this case (a heathen looking for a Christian God), the warmer and colder signals are really really subtle (either that or I am not very sensitive). I'm casting about, but I have a hard time telling the difference between closer and farther away from my objective. And when I feel close (for example singing the Lord's Prayer in Church today) I can't tell what direction I'm facing, or where I'm going, so continuing the search in the same direction is difficult.Possibly another metaphor would describe my plight. I'm looking for my car keys. I'm frustrated because I can't find them, and have been searching for a while. I'm not sure where to look, can't recall where I've already covered, and I'm feeling a little dumb. Perhaps the analogy has a deficiency. In this case, having never found "car keys" before, I don't even know what they look like. I won't even know when I've succeeded.
Oh well - on with the search.
I appreciate your honest exploration. You might be interested in a great book called Anchor for the Soul by Ray Pritchard. It's been around for a while and was recently updated by the author and rereleased. It's a wonderful book to turn to - straightforward and clearly written - when wrestling with tough questions about God and Jesus.
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